Scenario 1: You hear the sound of your doorbell chime. Wait…why is an UNEXPECTED guest dropping by the house?!? You’re panicking because there are dirty dishes in the sink, LOL Dolls scattered all over the living room floor, and you’re in a baggy, Old Navy fleece sweatshirt circa 2013 with no bra on underneath.
Scenario 2: You arrive for Field Day at your child’s school and all of the other moms are impeccably dressed while you’re in leggings and a T-shirt with your signature messy bun. You’re making mental notes to remember to spruce it up for the next school event, when the mom group starts criticizing another mother’s parenting style. You feel uncomfortable with the topic, but don’t want to be rude and just leave the conversation. You even find yourself nodding in agreement with their judgmental analyses.
People are innately wired to care about being liked and accepted. They feel good when someone hits the thumbs up or heart emoji on something they have shared on social media. The “Like” validated that this particular glimpse into their life is deemed approvable. Anxiety about the appearance of homes, insecurity over wardrobe choices, and engaging in gossipy conversations may all seem trivial; but, the problem is that underlying feelings of fear, rejection, inadequacy, and shame prohibit people from revealing their authentic selves. Oftentimes people allow external instruments, such as others’ opinions and judgments, to serve as a compass while navigating situations in their lives.
Wouldn’t it be great to be free from putting such unnecessary, high standards on yourself?
4 Things To Consider When You Worry About What Others Think
1. Don’t make assumptions that you know what other people think of you.
Let go of seeing yourself through other people’s eyes. It is almost impossible to truly know what others think of you. When you think about it, each person you interact with has their own set of values, beliefs, and background in which they come to conclusions. In addition, realize that others aren’t thinking about you as much as you may think they are and people usually don’t notice your flaws as much as you think.
2. Accept that people are going to judge no matter what.
Unfortunately, it is common in today’s world that people’s actions, appearance, lifestyle, behaviors, and cultures are often criticized, critiqued, and judged. But isn’t a judge supposed to be fair and objective? The majority of people you encounter in life are not sitting on the Supreme Court, so it is mentally beneficial to undertake an attitude of thinking, “Who cares what other people say? I’m me, and I’m awesome!” People judge and will have opinions of you— no matter what. So be you. Because there are people out there who won’t sit on a throne of superiority and will just adore the real you. Mankind is composed of an eclectic group of people with varying personalities that will not always mesh. It’s impossible to be accepted and liked by everyone. We also are not going to like everyone we meet. There is gratification in investing your energy into relationships with individuals who accept you the way you are.
3. Realize everyone is human and makes mistakes, so it is only natural that you will too.
Your mistakes don’t define who you are. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward with the knowledge that every human is imperfect and fallible. The same people judging you have made their own mistakes, so why does it matter what they think? In fact, if you acknowledge your missteps you not only take accountability, but show vulnerability. Being vulnerable actually leads to more connectivity with others.
4. You will feel happier and freer when you know your self-worth and love your authentic self.
Look inward and make a list of your positive attributes. What do you like about yourself? Are you kind and caring? Do you help others? Are you a good parent/friend/spouse? Who are you? What makes you so special? There is only one YOU— so you are special. Look at that list and affirm it. Everyday. Believe you’re worthy. When you undoubtedly know that you are worthy of love and acceptance just the way you are, you are free. You can showcase your authentic self regardless of who is watching or judging. You can live the life you were destined to live.
4 Benefits of Being Your True, Authentic Self
1. Deeper connections in relationships.
People who are authentic are able to build deeper, more fulfilling relationships. Fully revealing one’s true self cultivates genuine connections based on honesty and encourages others to do the same. In other words, authenticity inspires a ripple effect in that a safe space is created which permits each person to express their authentic selves without judgment.
2. Enhanced confidence and worthiness.
Those who live from a place of authenticity have heightened self-confidence because they believe in their skills, traits, and abilities as a person. They can be honest with themselves about their competencies and in which areas they need to improve– without self-condemnation. Rather than allowing challenges to bring them down, they show a firm resolve to face obstacles and do whatever it takes to succeed. Worthiness is the foundation on which self-confidence is built. Living an authentic life intensifies internal feelings of self-worth, in which people deeply believe that, regardless of circumstances, they have exceptional value as a person and are always worthy of love.
3. Feelings of Empowerment.
The courageous act of being your true self leads to a sense of empowerment. It takes a lot of prowess to show individuality in a world that makes people feel they should conform to certain ideas or merits. Making decisions based on your values and beliefs, rather than extraneous expectations, reinforces the notion that you are courageous, assertive, and trust yourself.
4. Inner Peace
When your thoughts and actions are aligned, you are free from the mental and emotional conflict that comes from thinking you have to perform to please others. Embracing who you truly are can bring a sense of tranquility since you no longer feel the need to hide or pretend to be someone different. Additionally, you are more likely to engage in behaviors that contribute to better mental health and pursue passions that genuinely inspire you.
Overall, living authentically allows you to live a more purpose-driven and fulfilling life, where you can fully express yourself with joy and conviction.
